Is it true? Has Wisconsin really forgotten Columbus Day? Have we abandoned the memory of the venerated explorer and his three ships, the Nina, the Pinta, and the Santa Maria? So it seems, said many Wisconsinites.
I really don’t care,” Lisa Werner, 23, said. “Why bother with it? We all make our own way in the world.”
“I’ve never really celebrated Columbus Day,” Michelle Misiora, 36, said, lowering her voice in a sign of embarrassment. “I wouldn’t even know how.”
“Yeah, we get a day off that day,” Cindy Venus, 49, said. “It reminds me of years ago when we were in grade school, singing about 1492.”
“It doesn’t mean anything, but you know, that’s not right, because 400 years from now, people won’t care about 9/11, and that’s not right.”
Many doubt the validity of the holiday. Since Columbus wasn’t necessarily the first European on the continent, some contend it is useless to commemorate the day. Others said it was effectively dead in the collective memory.
“Quite honestly,” said Shelley Learned, 33, “I don’t realize it’s Columbus Day until I don’t receive any mail. Seriously, I don’t even know why we celebrate any more.”
“My sister called on Monday, and she said she had off, and I said, ‘Why?’ She said, ‘I don’t know, some holiday.’ It took five minutes between the two of us to figure out what it was.”
“To tell you the truth, I don’t really know anything about Columbus Day. I don’t care about celebrating it anyway. When was it?” Jennifer Hegelson, 22, said. “Stuff like that is in the past as far as I’m concerned.”
“I didn’t even know it was Columbus Day,” said Crystal Cresci, 21. “Why would I celebrate? Leif Erickson and the Vikings were here first, anyway.”
Despite the parades and elementary school celebrations, some Wisconsinites even hate Columbus Day.
“It sucks,” Kyle Frederick, 24, said. “I could get some more pre-approved credit cards on that day, but no, no mail. Fucking Chris Columbus.”
“I think celebrating Columbus Day is like celebrating Hitler’s birthday,” Dustin Pares, 19, said.
“Which people do,” Jory Waldbillig, 22, added. “It would be okay if we got a day off.”
Both said they disagreed with the holiday on principle, referring to the eventual genocide committed against the native populations of the continent by Columbus’s followers.
Others expressed their loathing through sarcasm.
“Columbus Day is a great day for me to sit down and reflect about this great land we inherited. This great land, let me tell you, this great land is great for its stupidity in choosing holidays,” Alex Schaefer, 20, said.
“I sympathize with [American Indians] because of the fact I was taught that Columbus was a hero. You have the entire world around them thinking he was some sort of saint for finding the new world, when all he did was rape and pillage. And we celebrate that rape! It’s insulting, and frankly, they have every right to protest for education that he was a slanderous, slave-trading, spice-hoarding asshole.”
And finally, some simply expressed confusion.
“I thought Columbus Day was Thanksgiving,” Elizabeth Borst, 21, said. “Why can’t they just group all that shit?”
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